{"id":3527,"date":"2020-02-15T17:24:07","date_gmt":"2020-02-15T17:24:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/?p=3527"},"modified":"2020-02-15T17:24:07","modified_gmt":"2020-02-15T17:24:07","slug":"how-can-you-help-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/2020\/02\/15\/how-can-you-help-me\/","title":{"rendered":"How Can You Help Me?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

~ If a friend of mine is reading this, how can you help me? ~<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I try to be self-reliant as much as possible and I\u2019ve never been one to ask for help. I\u2019ve always taken immense pride in being in control of my life, how I\u2019m able to solve all my problems and how I make good things come out of bad situations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But lately, I haven\u2019t been doing so well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t even know where to begin. I\u2019m not happy. I\u2019m not my usual self. I find it hard to do almost anything. I find it hard to stick to deadlines. I don\u2019t feel like getting along with anyone. I just feel like sitting in the quiet with a close friend of mine and do nothing, absolutely nothing. Just sit in the quiet, in the warmth and safety of a friend with my mind at ease. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth is I\u2019ve been through so much in a span of eight months: having to give up my leadership positions in student clubs, the emotional torture of almost losing my best friend, the feeling of never being enough for my family, my father\u2019s sudden heart attack and my family being in debt have scared me and the pain of all of it stays with me till this very moment. I find it impossible to think of anything else other than this pain. Ensnared in my thoughts, I started to lose my vision of reality around me. I\u2019m constantly processing the tragedies of my past that I\u2019m unable to live in the present. It\u2019s been like this for eight months. There had been no improvement. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I no longer possess any control over my life because things are changing so fast and nothing is shaping up for the better. Perhaps it\u2019s time to try something I\u2019ve never done. Perhaps it\u2019s time to ask for help. But could I ever muster up the strength to share my burdens with someone else? I don\u2019t think so. Everyone\u2019s got enough problems and I\u2019d feel like a monster if I were to force my problems as if they were their own. No, I don\u2019t want to ask to be helped. I want to be helped without asking. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You could say I\u2019m expecting too much from people. The truth is I\u2019m not expecting anything from people. I\u2019m counting on the human beings<\/em> around me to help me. The ones who are close to me, the ones who love me, the ones who include or have included me in their lives in one way or another. If you\u2019re my friend and you\u2019re going through a major crisis, I\u2019d offer to help you. You wouldn\u2019t have to ask a thing. But I\u2019m an exception to reality I guess\u2026 Nobody has time to spare for anybody else other than themselves \u2013 and this is what kills me. There is always going to be a limitation to what everyone \u2013 even your best friends \u2013 \u00a0can do for you, but when you help them, you go big and beyond to make them happy and successful. Life just isn\u2019t fair and everybody just advises others not to care too much because caring too much means getting hurt. Yes, this is exactly the kind of world we live in where the values of love and friendship have become the basis of pain and heartache. And sometimes, I can\u2019t help but wish that if the world has become like this, I no longer want any part of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Best friends. Best friends help each other no matter what. Or at least that\u2019s what I think they do. Growing up, I never had anyone close enough to call a \u201cfriend\u201d. The whole idea of making friends just dawned on me when I entered university and adopted an extroverted outlook for my first two years in university, I\u2019ve come to meet all sorts of people. I was na\u00efve enough to trust everyone I met so there\u2019s no surprise when I tell you I got hurt multiple times. But even when I got to create a circle of the best people I could find, the hurt didn\u2019t end; it took on a new form of social exclusion and misunderstandings. Imagine sitting with your best friends and they\u2019re speaking in their mother tongue which you have no clue of. They\u2019re laughing and bonding and you\u2019re just sitting there trying to make sense of their conversation through contextual clues. And it\u2019s not something that happens once or twice. No, it\u2019s been that way for quite some time and it\u2019s starting to become almost disrespectful. Sometimes I think it\u2019s because my friends have lost their respect for me. I have lost most of the things that define me and that I\u2019m no longer in a position of power to take care of myself or solve my own problems. Or perhaps they\u2019ve stopped making any effort with me\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve always believed that there are no barriers in friendship, not language, not culture, but based on what I have experienced, there are barriers indeed. Imagine being unable to laugh with your friends. Imagine having to find out about their plans from context or from someone else. This kind of behaviour from close friends destroys someone like me. It\u2019s a feeling that you\u2019re not being treated equally \u2013 even though you should be for all the love and support you\u2019ve given them. You\u2019re just watching your best friends bond with each other. You\u2019re just a catalyst for their friendship and you\u2019re not part of their moments because you never know about them until they\u2019ve happened. Yes, sensitive souls like me suffer the most when in comes to a situation like this \u2013 or any other situation for that matter. We are born to feel too much and to be told not to. That\u2019s our life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With that, small things that go unnoticed build up into mountains and it affects the one who cares with all of his heart. So if a friend of mine is reading this, how can you help me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Please stop asking me to think different or change. I\u2019ve changed enough to accommodate the furthest reaches of our friendship. Perhaps it’s time for you to make some sacrifices.<\/li>
  2. Be a little more sensitive to who you are with. You\u2019ve known me long enough to be best friends with me and it doesn\u2019t make sense that you\u2019re unclear of what hurts me. <\/li>
  3. Go out of your way to help me \u2013 or anyone else for that matter. If you are my best friend, you undoubtedly possess a loving heart. Use it to prove that the world can be a kinder place if everybody just tried. <\/li>
  4. Know my goals and support them. I\u2019m able to constantly overcome my limitations and help you realize your goals. I don\u2019t want to hear that everybody is different. Anyone who cares for the another will find a way to help even if it involves assuming responsibility of something you have less experience in.<\/li>
  5. Make me feel valued and loved. The feeling of being enough is something I\u2019ve been deprived of \u2013 even from my own family. Don\u2019t keep me second guessing what I mean to you. Don\u2019t make me doubt our friendship. Don\u2019t make me feel excluded. Don\u2019t make me feel like it\u2019s just that easy to lose you. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Perhaps I\u2019m too tangled up in my feelings. I almost wish I possess a sort of indifference so nothing can really hurt me. But don\u2019t get me wrong: the love and support I\u2019ve received from my friends is tremendous and I wouldn\u2019t trade it for anything else in the world. I love my friends deeply but sometimes I can\u2019t help but wonder how it would feel to receive that same intensity of love I give. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    If a friend of mine is reading this, how can you help me?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":102,"featured_media":3530,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[137,128,154,1],"tags":[150,223,349,348,145],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3527"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/102"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3527"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3527\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3544,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3527\/revisions\/3544"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}