{"id":3554,"date":"2020-02-29T17:08:00","date_gmt":"2020-02-29T17:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/?p=3554"},"modified":"2020-02-29T17:08:00","modified_gmt":"2020-02-29T17:08:00","slug":"friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/2020\/02\/29\/friendship\/","title":{"rendered":"Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

~ I had to let go of a toxic friendship so I could befriend someone amazing. ~<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the longest time in my life I\u2019ve wondered how it feels like to have friends who support you. Or if you are someone like me who never had any personal relationships during your school years, you might not know how wonderful it feels to have friends at all. I for one am blessed with friends from all over the world and I\u2019m grateful to have best friends who treat me like family. Throughout my three years on campus, I\u2019ve created a large enough community for myself that it is almost impossible not to encounter someone I know down every corridor I venture or every corner I turn. And let me tell you that these random nods, smiles, handshakes and hellos are one of the best moments I look forward to every day. But has it always been that way?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back in my school years, I was a pretty shy kid and I didn\u2019t have much going on. I was a chubby kid until high school and I wasn\u2019t really good at any sports. I wasn\u2019t a part of any after school club either. I never went out with any of my \u2018friends\u2019 because I was never invited to their hangouts. And even if I was, my family wouldn\u2019t have allowed me to go out anyway. So to make up for my lack of friends, I spent most of my days (well to be honest all of my childhood) staying indoors, reading books and writing short stories.  The only place which I frequented with my father was the British Council Library where I\u2019d go to get fresh reads every weekend. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I also liked to study to pass the time. I loved to write notes but I didn\u2019t have anyone to share them with. My parents set up multiple white boards on the wall for me to study and I use them to teach an imaginary class of students and no, I\u2019m not a lunatic. My sole ambition ever since primary school was to teach and I believe I learn best when I\u2019m explaining a concept or a problem to someone else. I didn\u2019t have any friends to study with and my parents didn\u2019t like anyone coming over to our house (and I had no friends to invite for that matter). So from primary school to high school, I\u2019d have these sessions with my imaginary students whilst I think to myself that one day I\u2019m going to be a professor in a reputable university and I\u2019d be working with hundreds of students, shaping their minds and nurturing their abilities. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My life had been pretty lonely throughout my teenage years. I didn\u2019t get into any relationships and I never found anyone who I felt comfortable enough to be myself. I\u2019d call my classmates as \u2018friends\u2019 just because I saw them five times a week and not because there was a deep emotional connection which bonded us together. I was adamant to escape this bubble of loneliness when I got to university and based on what I had experienced, the whole friendship experience can be dangerous and agonizing if you trusted the wrong person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back in my foundation year, I was determined to distinguish myself. I tried out almost everything: martial arts, community projects, MyBuddy program, and got involved with various student clubs. I was reserved and lacked confidence at first but I knew I had to get out of my comfort zone if I were to leave a good lasting impression on someone else. It was difficult at first. I had to immerse myself in different social settings; I had to sit in big groups even if I didn\u2019t want to. I felt anxious around people but I had to put on a smile and engage with everyone like a socialite would. Overtime, I got better at pretending to be social and surprisingly, I became a socialite that everybody knew \u2013 and I loved it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Awesome Foundation Year<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

For the first time in my life, I felt visible to people. I was hanging out with everyone and I was meeting new people every day. Of course, I didn\u2019t open up to everyone I met until I felt like I found for a best friend for myself. He was a boy from Pakistan and I first met him in our \u201cOral Communication\u201d class. He was one of the first students to give an impromptu presentation on the topic of \u201cIf I were an animal, I\u2019d be\u2026\u201d While other students picked classic pets, he chose to be a dragon because he thought it\u2019d be cool to breathe fire and his exact words were, \u201cHey, I can have barbeque anytime I want right?\u201d He had come up to say hi right after class. He was living in the same dorm I was in and that he thought we should be friends. We got along great. He was like a brother to me. Everything looked innocent back then. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only it wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over a year of friendship, I had discovered that he had been manipulating me for so long. He was placing bets with his friends to see just how much he could take advantage of me and I was blind to all of it. I continued to help him with his studies and supported him when he needed someone to listen or vent or solve his problems. But towards the end of the year, I had decided that enough was enough and I knew I had to put an end to my misery. In the middle of the year, I had started to tutor \u201cFundamental of Mathematics\u201d for foundation students and I had started to build a friendship with two gentlemen: Mohsen and Karam. Relying on the friendship I had with them and knowing that I\u2019m not going to be alone, I took the brave decision to cut the toxic friendship I had. It was painful at first, but through the kindness of the lecturers and my friends, I was able to recover from the wounds of broken friendship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Fun with Mohsen and Karam<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps I was meant to survive a horrible experience so I could know better and grow. I had learned not to completely trust someone I knew so little about. For quite some time after I lost my \u2018friend\u2019, I was unable to welcome and accommodate new people in my life. I was scared of the impact a bad friend could have on me. I was scared to relive the whole ordeal. But through the love and respect I received from Mohsen, Karam and all their friends who later became the closest people in my social circle, I was able to see the light, warmth and beauty in friendship again. And as fate would have it, I had to let go of my toxic friendship so I could befriend someone amazing. Shortly after, my detrimental friendship fell apart, I met Noman Nabeel, a young boy from Yemen who would not only become my best friend but also a strong, supportive and defining character in my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Welcome to the family Noman!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Before\nI end, I\u2019d like to offer some carefully considered advice for those of you who\nare looking to get out there and make some friends. Remember, it\u2019s always\nquality over quantity and true friendship will not hold you back but nurture\nyou to grow to your fullest potential through love, understanding and support \u2013\njust as my best friends have done for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Don\u2019t be in a rush to make friends. You should know what you\u2019re looking for. Do you want people to hang out with or are you looking to form an emotional connection? If you pick the former, try to approach people in a classroom setting, the Starbucks down the block or at an event. If you decided on the latter, try to get the know the person before engaging any further with him or her. Sometimes it\u2019s hard to read people because some wear their masks so tight and perfectly.<\/li>
  2. Try to get involved. Join a student club. Try out for a sports team. Hit the gym. The more involved you get, the more likely you are to meet new people. More people will start noticing you but you shouldn\u2019t assume responsibility for the sake of getting noticed. If the activity is making you uncomfortable, opt for a different hobby.<\/li>
  3. Offer to help people. This was the key to my friendships. Are you good at math? Do you create awesome reports and posters? Are you a great listener? Use your gifts and make a positive difference in someone\u2019s life. You\u2019ve got nothing to lose. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
    \"\"
    Just the best people ever!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    …knowing that I\u2019m not going to be alone, I took the brave decision to cut the toxic friendship I had. It was painful at first, but through the kindness of the lecturers and my friends, I was able to recover from the wounds of broken friendship. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":102,"featured_media":3555,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[137,128,154,1],"tags":[83,357,358,359,355,356,348,145],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3554"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/102"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3554"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3554\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3654,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3554\/revisions\/3654"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3555"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ambassadors.ucsiuniversity.edu.my\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}