Chicken soup: Self LOVE-ing

I am always wondering the topic like self-love, self-care, self-esteem and self-worth. I think all these ‘self-‘ are very important as we are only human. If we are constantly only taking care of others, then who will take care of our own selves? Hence, I am here to share a few tips that I learnt from several websites and youtube videos when I discovered more about Self Love. To me, practising self-love doesn’t mean you are selfish or arrogant, but instead it means that you care about yourself in creating a bigger sense of impact towards all your relationships by living a happy you.

Wondering how to practice self-love? Self-love is more than just changing your hair, getting a new wardrobe, or attempting to redefine yourself.

Self-love is obtaining an appreciation for yourself that stems from the physical, emotional, and spiritual support you provide yourself. It’s not a fixed state, but it grows through actions that lead to maturity over time. Practising self-love can be a long journey but it is a vital step to improve your mental health and happiness level which leads to a healthy life. Self-love encompasses four different parts– self-awareness, self-worth, self-esteem, and self-care. Self-love is a very important aspect of your well-being. It affects how you view yourself, the decision you make and the relationship with others.

The concept of self-love is often underlooked and misunderstood. Here are a few concepts of self-love.

  1. Self love is not a linear process.

The process of loving yourselves will have ups and downs. Hence, on the journey, you will probably have days that you might feel great, very energized, positive and overwhelmed with positive vibes; but there will be also days where you feel down, demotivated, sad and just don’t want to bother anyone. But, it is just more than okay as it is very normal and common to everyone. We have to know the fact that we might feel tired, grumpy, anxious, sad and lonely even if we consciously practice self love. Do remember that we are just human and we need emotions to survive. We are in the process of growing and it is allowed to have days to feel down. We are still learning and none is perfect. We are allowed to give full range of emotions on any given day. Life is hard and it is absolutely nothing wrong with taking the bad with the good. Part of loving yourself is not only expressing or accepting the good and positive emotions but is feeling and expressing all emotions but not criticizing yourself. It is understandable we have our own emotions towards the certain issue as it is just part of ourselves as a human being. Self-love is a complex process full of leaps forward and steps back. Each day that you choose to keep going and choose to love yourself, you are actually making amazing progress even though if you don’t feel like it.

2. Self Love is NOT selfish.

We are conditioned by society to believe that self-love is selfish but it is absolutely NOT. How many times have you stepped back from a commitment and instantly felt guilty? How often do you say no to someone and feel self-absorbed? Feeling this way is totally normal and understandable because society has made us believe that prioritizing own needs is selfish, but this is not true. Despite anything that society has told you, taking care of your own needs is your responsibility towards yourself and is one of the most important things you should do. It is your job to maintain and protect your health and happiness. Taking the steps to do so is never selfish. You are valuable because you are you.

3. Self Love is not a rapid process.

It takes time for you to love someone. Same as loving yourself, it takes time for you to know who are you and to figure out your needs. It is definitely a process and a journey which you have to put the effort into it. We have to be more patient and constantly practice self-love and see how it works. For sure, by practising self-love bit by bit and from time to time, you will embrace and love yourself because everything of yours makes you are a unique person. We just have to understand great thing takes time.

4. Self Love is important.

Why self love is important and all of us should aware of it? By practising self-love, it can open the doors for meaningful relationships by knowing how to give and receive love. Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘To love others, you must first love yourself.’? Besides, the way you love yourself shows others how to love you. To respect, to understand your own flaws and strengths are the best way to love yourself. It is very important as it is your tool to show the world who you are.

5. Self-Love is not always fun.

Sometimes self-love is hard, it is doing what’s best for you even if it doesn’t excite you at the moment. It is about you putting boundaries for yourself and making scarifies or a better result. Sometimes, we have to prioritize what helps us and leave those toxic relationships.

The concept of self-love was alien to me for many years because I believed that the only way to be happy is to get love and acceptance from others, and for that, I always thought that I have to prove myself to be worthy. The whole concept of self-love sounded selfish or narcissistic. But that’s an incorrect assumption. But here’s the thing. No matter what I did, nothing was ever enough. Every time I did achieve something, the bar was raised higher. It was so depressing because nothing ever was good enough for the people I was trying to please. However, after I tried to understand self-love, it is more than what I thought. Above are some of my key learnings after I know self-love. For more information, feel free to check out this video.

Let’s practice self-love together- For a better ‘self’.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourselves to get anything done in this world.

Lucille Ball