Teaching as Therapy (Part I)

If there’s one thing in the world that I could get never tired of, it would be teaching. Teaching brings me incomparable joy. I love sharing my knowledge and working with students. It has been a huge passion of mine since youth and needless to say it has evolved into an ambition of mine. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had any other ambition than teaching. Though I have not actively tutored before, I was exposed to a lot of opportunities in UCSI University and it’s all thanks to the Peer Assisted Learning (PAL) program.

I had discovered the PAL program back as early as in 2017. I had joined UCSI University in January 2017 and completed my first semester of Foundation in Science studies by May 2017. I had heard from a friend who enjoys teaching as much as I do that there was a program to sign up as a tutor for a course you’ve received an “A” (or A* back then) grade in. I was elated! After discussing with my Fundamentals of Mathematics lecturer, I was referred to the PAL program. 2017 was a time where UCSI University was celebrating it’s thirty-year anniversary and it has yet to grow into an educational empire that we experience today. The PAL office, under Centre for Academic and Professional Development (CAPA) department, was located in a cramped little corner on the mezzanine floor. I was a little disappointed by the teaching space available. I had hoped that I would be given access to classrooms to conduct my tutorial sessions but nevertheless, the prospect of finally playing a role as a teacher/educator overwhelmed any thoughts I had. Ms Chai, the head of the PAL program, till this day is one of the most helpful staff I have encountered in UCSI University. She helped me signed up straight away while handing the student’s attendance sheet, lecturer appointment form, and weekly progress report forms, and the “infamous” PAL marker pen that all mentors carried. I had officially become a student tutor and I couldn’t wait to start out.

I acted fast by joining the Fundamentals of Mathematics class for the May 2017 semester to promote my tutorial classes. The class was held in the Auditorium and it was packed which made me feel rather nervous. Nonetheless, with the introduction given by my lecturer I found the courage to take the stage and deliver the class timing and venue for my tutorial sessions. I noticed quite a number of students taking down the details I had put up on the board. Back then I would also share my WhatsApp number so that students could reach me 24/7. To be honest, teaching that PAL class in May 2017 was one of the best choices I had ever made in my university life. Not only was I able to conduct my first successful tutorial class in my university life, I was also blessed with the chance to meet incredible people who later on became my best friends for life. And this is why Mohsen Khaled and Karam Yahya will forever have a special place in my heart.

It was astonishing to have my lecturer support me all throughout the semester. I was given the chance to book huge classrooms for the increasing number of students. I felt like a lecturer at the age of 17. It felt amazing to share all that I’ve studied to eager minds who were willing to learn. In fact, this is the true purpose of education. I still recall to this day one of the most beautiful and wisest sayings of my role model and mentor, Dr Yeap Swee Pin, said in one of his Process Instrumentation and Instrumental Analysis classes. He said that it was the duty of the lecturer/educator to impart his full knowledge to students and the students should absorb that knowledge and top it up with their own knowledge before applying it in real life or passing it onto their peers. This makes teaching and learning a continuous process. What my role model said that day gave life and meaning to one of my favourite slogans of all time: Always learning – by Pearson publications.

From May 2017 semester onwards, I have been a recurring member of the PAL program constantly signing up for new and harder classes each semester. I had one thing in mind which was that I was learning to teach and I spared no effort to gather as much knowledge as I could while studying every subject. I don’t believe in shortcuts and I can’t afford shortcuts if I am to assume the role of a lecturer one day. To this date I have taught ten subjects – and sometimes even teaching up to two subjects each semester! The subjects which I have successfully tutored include: Fundamentals of Mathematics (May 2017), Algebra and Trigonometry (September 2017), Organic Chemistry (January 2018), Engineering Physics (May 2018, September 2019), Calculus and Analytical Geometry II (September 2018), Fluid Mechanics (January 2019 and January 2020 semesters), Mass Transfer (May 2019), Mathematics for Engineers II (September 2019), Petroleum Refining Engineering (January 2021), and Process Equipment Design (January 2021). I made it a goal of mine to teach more advanced subjects as I complete each year of my undergraduate studies in BEng (Hons) Chemical Engineering.

Among all the subjects I taught, I would say that “Mass Transfer” was the most challenging. It is a core subject in chemical engineering and the way the course was structured is tough for students. I faced a certain amount of difficulties while studying that subject in January 2019 semester. The subject was hard to teach as each problem required an hour or more to solve. I was only able to cover one (or at maximum, two) problems each tutorial session and I had to trust it to the mentees to do their homework and approach me if they faced any issues. However, May 2019 was also a difficult semester for me – mentally – as I started to encounter several issues in my social life. I am not necessarily a person who has it altogether but until that point I had been trying my best to keep going with the strength I had. I wasn’t expecting a huge part of my friendship to fall apart in that semester and for someone like me who grew up having little friends to none, it felt as if the world was ending.

I was unable to separate my professional life from my social life and this caused quite a few disturbances in my university life. Sharing about this made me remember another saying by my role model, Dr Yeap Swee Pin. He had mentioned that there will be times when we are burdened with our own issues but we rarely get to deal with them separately. We must tend to our professional life as well and we cannot have our problems interfere with our work. This trait of professionalism is highly important for our career. I was 19 at that time and I didn’t know better. I honestly wasn’t proud of my teaching abilities that semester. Nevertheless, I took accountability for my shortcomings my uploading my notes and solutions on the Course Networking (CN) platform so that the students may revise before their final examination.

Teaching has always given me the chance to engage in lifelong learning skills, enhance my knowledge of disciplines, and improve my communication skills. But I had gained something which I thought I would never achieve. Teaching became a form of therapy for my mental health and to this day, it is one of the zero-cost forms of therapy that has gotten me out of my darkest moments.